October 14 – In the Round
I am not the same minister I was when I first took on this position back in March.
Neither am I the same person.
It was winter.
A new beginning in a new town.
And then everyone went inside.
And so did I.
My home is now different too.
Appreciation for its existence deepens.
Refuge. Shelter. Womb.
From here I awaken.
I am finding my inner monk and this is where my heart resides.
In balance, giving-ness, reciprocity and equanimity.
Desert solitude and small-town healing ministry invite me into something both ancient and embryonic.
My Jesus voice is become clearer-but more often then not, it hides.
My heart is widening and breaking.
I am grateful and reluctant.
It is now apparent there is no going back.
From here I begin another journey.
It is a deep still forest, thick and ominous at times.
And then, well-trodden and inviting.
Everything-everyone thus far has encouraged this path.
For all of that and for all of you, I give thanks.
October 7, 2020 – In the Round
Autumn beckons sensory enticement as red-orange-yellow
embrace the visual senses.
Slow falling leaves pass by with whispers and land as
creaturely paws and feet crunch through.
New chill air shivers and comforts as fire pit circles mesmerize
and big woolly blankets embrace.
Magic. Love magic. God magic. Surprising. Real. Transforming.
Life as we have known it through spring and summer song is
leaving, departing dying.
New life is already on its way.
So quietly and in secret, we can only imagine.
And we must imagine.
Widen our mind activity into new thought and creative insight born from inspiration and the intentional inclusion of the impossible and possible.
It is imagination spurred on by the transforming season that invites us into
outside the box thinking.
We need this.
As a global collective.
To save our earth, ourselves, each other and the unknown future waiting for our little ones.
Rise out of the familiar.
Realize a deeper truth.
A oneness of connectivity that includes everything.
We must stop leaving things outside the door through judgement and prejudice and ignorance.
To be free to fully love God and all that God loves we must let go of everything that separates us from one another.
Stuff. Morality. Victorian work ethics. Outdated politics. Hierarchies. Class. Inequity. Racializing. Stigma. Hate. Busyness. Perfection. Misogyny. Dominance. Cruelty. Indifference. Scapegoating. Judgement. Self-loathing.
We have been created to know better and do right by all life.
If we continue to turn our backs on others and all of earth’s kin,
we turn our backs on God.
And we need God, as surely as we need air, water, sustenance and sleep.
Our true companion.
September 30, 2020
The Lorica of St. Patrick (The Deer`s Cry)
I arise to-day:
vast might, invocation of the Trinity,—
belief in a Threeness
confession of Oneness
meeting in the Creator. . . .
I arise to-day:
might of Heaven
brightness of Sun
whiteness of Snow
splendour of Fire
speed of Light
swiftness of Wind
depth of Sea
stability of Earth
firmness of Rock.
I arise to-day:
Might of God for my piloting
Wisdom of God for my guidance
Eye of God for my foresight
Ear of God for my hearing
Word of God for my utterance
Hand of God for my guardianship
Path of God for my precedence
Shield of God for my protection
Host of God for my salvation . . .
Christ with me, Christ before me,
Christ behind me, Christ in me,
Christ under me, Christ over me,
Christ to right of me, Christ to left of me,
Christ in lying down, Christ in sitting, Christ in rising up
Christ in the heart of every person, who may think of me!
Christ in the mouth of every one, who may speak to me!
Christ in every eye, which may look on me!
Christ in every ear, which may hear me!
I arise to-day:
vast might, invocation of the Trinity
belief in a Threeness
confession of Oneness
meeting in the Creator.
September 23, 2020 – Being Sound
Recently during afternoon prayer-time, I fell easily into the moment.
Warm window light softened the day while animal friends curled quietly by.
Even the world sounds around me did not distract from the source that was moving ever closer.
I gave way and noticed my body starting to hum.
A hum like the sound of a nearby bee buzzing gently as it moves from one flower to another.
A hum like the sound of a humming-bird’s wings that disappears in the speed of fervent motion.
A hum that gave me a glimpse into the healing power of prayer.
It was magical.
Sound is not just what we hear, but what we listen too.
And in this listening, we become the sound.
If you stand in the rain long enough, with the sound of water pattering upon your head and moving past your ears and falling all over you and enveloping you with its watery-soul, you become the rain.
If you sit under a tree with leaves awake and wind blowing through, the wind eventually fills you with its sound and you can no longer feel a difference between what the wind is saying and what you are hearing. You and the wind and the rustling leaves become a symphony.
Why does this happen?
I believe we are kindred, with all things-with all life. And these holy moments invite us into a kind of timelessness that if we accept, affirms this relationship.
In the collective senses, where everything stands as itself, we also stand as one.
This is the last segment to my Being offering.
September 16, 2020 – Being light
Behind my eyes lives another world.
Magic, fantastical, cosmic, water-colours, shades of dark…light.
Light. That which need only be a minute spark to
change a cave of darkness into hope.
Is there more essence to us then flesh?
Are we more cosmic than corporeal?
Light is fluid and vibrant and always in flux.
Timeless. Boundless. Eternal. Ephemeral. Borderless.
“Truly, it is in the darkness that one finds the light, so when we are in sorrow,
then this light is nearest of all to us.”
Meister Eckhart 13th Century Theologian and Mystic
Is light the energy material which composes us in our true form?
Is this the dynamic energy which connects everything to one another?
When I pray and enter a place without definition or sound or image,
I experience this energy.
When I offer or receive Therapeutic Touch, I experience this energy.
When I am in the woods where sound and life are one, I experience this energy.
And this feels like truth to me.
I am everything and nothing, together and alone and all feels right
with the world.
In this moment of light.
September 9, 2020 – Being Mindful
Living beyond the moment can be both full of imagination and possibility or stress inducing. Being mindful makes room for both.
Being mindful is not about ignoring the past or neglecting the future, it is more about being in whatever place you are in at any given moment.
Although the past and future can distract us from the moment and create both nostalgia or longing, recognizing that thoughts flow in and out gives us permission to remember and imagine and then return to the present.
Being mindful is about being present to whatever is happening in the moment.
Here there is no past or future, there is only now.
And in the now, everything exists.
This is acceptance.
I realize that making acceptance my primary spiritual work encompasses so much of what I am longingly growing into.
It holds: Non-judgemental-ness. Inclusivity. Empathy. Humility. Connection.
It is neither good or bad/right or wrong. It simply is. There is tremendous freedom here. And with freedom comes a new kind of love for self that permeates out into the world and spreads its wings.
It is a love the holds all things and as all things are held by God, we begin to experience God through all things.
Mindfulness is an incarnation of love.
Love for: Presence. Awareness. Everything.
Do you see how this brings us closer the God?
Every moment is of God – is holy. Being here puts us inside God. Inside God we experience life without constriction of what was or is, we simply are hangin’ out with God and we know it!
It is well worth the effort to arrive here. To do the mental muscle work required to learn to live in the present. Just know it is not inherently alien to us, it is primarily difficult because we have been programmed away from mindfulness and need to reclaim it.
Ultimately, being mindful allows us to recognize we are deeply flawed, vulnerable and hurting and that we each need to be loved and accepted just as we are and just where we are on the journey to our true ourselves.
September 9, 2020 – Being quiet
Recently I received the gift of quiet.
A friend gave me noise cancelling headphones.
Urban sounds tend to overwhelm at times and this gift was very welcomed and for someone with a sensory disorder, deeply appreciated.
I am a forest person. The woods and I respect one another.
The silence often found in the trees and bramble and stillness is like a salve.
Even though the forest is not truly a quiet place, there exists a stillness, a camaraderie of sound that sits with me and is not entirely separate.
Quiet brings god-sounds.
Walks away from the urban core help.
Going under water.
Going into space.
My sensitivity to sound is a gift, but the cost is feeling it very intensely and dramatically. Perhaps this is why I long for and find home in the quiet.
It is one of the few places I truly hear God.
When I can give myself over to the now and still my body and breathe.
Eventually quiet comes and I calm and God draws near.
What I have come to realize in the quiet is that God is always near-I am the one who strays. We all do. It simply is what we do. But we are also called to be in the presence. Whenever. Always. Sometimes.
Just a few minutes of quiet a day will draw you near to God
Just a few minutes of quiet a day will draw God near to you.
God’s memory is long and always holds a place just for you.
August 26, 2020 – Being soft.
Tree peepers cascade the night.
A cacophony of harmonics fills the dark, lit only by warm blue fairie lights.
I ponder; how to be soft in a hard world?
It is a daily challenge.
It hurts to be hard.
Blankets and real love wrap us when we are cold or scared or we simply need to snuggle.
It helps us feel soft.
God is soft.
New life is soft.
Coming out from the edges of the world we need to seek some soft corners to curl and be intimate with ourselves, so we can be intimate with God.
Reflecting on the softness of life
I experience-love in unexpected places.
Being soft helps us see the deeper truth of existence and its living dance that vibrates with sacred energy.
We are a part of this. We are this. Everything. All.
It is miracle and magic and real and often difficult to comprehend.
Nevertheless, it is our truth.
As god-self earth beings, we are a part of a very large canvas
which we only have glimpses of.
Being soft helps us be in the wonder of this.
Even if you can only reside here once in a while, it is significant
for you and all life.
We resonate inclusion and acceptance.
We embody the holy.
We are in the blanket of God.
And the blanket, God and us become one.
August 19, 2020 – Being small.
I rested in God’s pocket for three weeks and it was the best balm.
It was not ongoing, but when I lived there, it offered a perspective that nourished and helped me feel grateful.
I am growing to accept and deeply appreciate the moments when God and I curl up together and we are simply one. They may be fleeting, but they are more real than anything else I experience.
Yes there is still anxiety and doubt and pain and darkness, but those moments in God’s pocket provides a certain eternalness that resonates deep in my spirit and the will to continue is refreshed. Deep sigh.
Being inside God’s pocket was safe. The world was outside me and I was inside a pocket that knew me and kept me close.
Like sitting in a favourite chair with,
a familiar blanket,
an engrossing book
a hot cup of tea
and of course a fire gently stirring and rain sounds falling upon a tin roof.
In the large scheme of things, yes, this is perfection for me. Because here is what being in God’s pocket felt like-a place I am fully me and fully accepted. A place free of judgment. A place I am nurtured.
The world is not always kind. I have come to accept this and love our flawed species in spite of it. Pockets are few. But that is okay, there are still pockets for all of us to find ourselves in where the air is holy and we are complete, just as we are.
So now I know that I have place of waiting in God’s pocket whenever I need to feel safe and loved and accepted, just as I am.
A remarkable feeling. Often a difficult journey to return to, but a place that is constant and always available.